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Kulingræs med Viktoria

Send alle dine mails til Lene E.

Vis Regeringen hvor dumt det er at logge danskernes internet trafik. Send alle dine mails CC til justitsministeriet på mandag d. 24 september, så kan det være Lene Espersen kan få en ide om hvilke mængder der skal logges og hvad størstedelen af indholdet er.

The Danish Dong-boys

By coincidence, I realized today what DONG sounds like in the ears of an English speaking person:

dong (dông, dŏng)
n. Vulgar Slang
A penis.

[Origin unknown.]

dong. (n.d.). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Retrieved June 05, 2007, from Dictionary.com website:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/dong

The Danish national soccer team is sponsored by the biggest Danish utilities supplier, DONG. This makes the fact that the soccer boys run around with t-shirts stating “Dong energy” with big, white letters, a tad more fun.

Get directions with Google

Once more (now that we are at it), the role model of setting up ones own firm, Google, amazes with small surprises, like this ingenious advice on how to travel from New York to London – Note step 23 at the bottom left corner…

Google Directions
Click the picture to see it full size…

How to become a success

By some coincidence, I stumpled upon the secret behind Google’s success. Apparently they rely on a large number of low cost pigeon clusters (PC’s) to support their search infrastructure:

When a search query is submitted to Google, it is routed to a data coop where monitors flash result pages at blazing speeds. When a relevant result is observed by one of the pigeons in the cluster, it strikes a rubber-coated steel bar with its beak, which assigns the page a PigeonRank value of one. For each peck, the PigeonRank increases. Those pages receiving the most pecks, are returned at the top of the user’s results page with the other results displayed in pecking order.

[…]

While some unscrupulous websites have tried to boost their ranking by including images on their pages of bread crumbs, bird seed and parrots posing seductively in resplendent plumage, Google’s PigeonRank technology cannot be deceived by these techniques.

[…]

Google uses only low-cost, off-the-street pigeons for its clusters. Gathered from city parks and plazas by Google’s pack of more than 50 Phds (Pigeon-harvesting dogs)

Amazed by this blazing elegant and innovative way of achieving success in life, i started wondering what would make my life and my company even more successful, so after a few moments of thought, I developed an equally sophisticated strategy:

Equally to the Google strategy, we recruit low-cost staff for our mission: to improve communication between manufacturers and architects. The recent and mysterious lack of pigeons have led to a more aggressive and, it shows, far more effective strategy: leprechauns.
Put on in a box with a tube-shaped device on top for yelling into, and yell any message into the box. The leprechaun will immediately carry out the command, or carry the message to the nearest other box, where the resident leprechaun will do the same. Since leprechauns are specialized in running, jumping and climbing trees, almost any command or message will be carried out with immense and swift precision.
This discovery has led to a series of complex algorithms for making the communication between players in the building industry cost-effective, precise and always in time. Of obvious reasons, these algorithms cannot be described in greater detail here, but one rule should be emphasized: always have a schnapps before yelling at your leprechaun.

Currently, we are assembling an LSD (Leprechaun Service Department). Please contact me if this is of any interest.